Adam Jensen
I never asked for this. Adam Jensen is the protagonist of Deus Ex: Human Revolution and a wrestler in VGCW. He is a former VGCW Champion, Royal Rumble winner, and also reached the finals of The Great Tournament. He competes (reluctantly) with Gabe Newell as the tag team Safety Valve. In Deus Ex Adam Jensen 'is the protagonist of ''Deus Ex: Human Revolution. ''He worked as a security guard for Sarif Industries until he was attacked by augmented members of the Illuminati and received critical injuries. Sarif took advantage of this and gave Jensen ''every single augmentation his company could produce, turning Jensen into an augmented superhuman. Play the rest of the game to find out what happens next. In VGCW Season 1: Winning and Losing the Big Belt Adam Jensen and his teleporting, augmented bike quickly gained popularity with the VGCW audience. The augmented superhuman made his debut on November 25th 2012, where he appeared out from backstage after Ganondorf's win over Bowser, giving him the memo that he wanted the Dark Lord's title. On November 27th, 2012, he ran to the ring to protect Ezio Auditore from Ganondorf after the championship match and challenged Ganondorf to a non-title match on the next day, fighting Ganondorf on an almost equal level until he grabbed a fountain drink from the audience, which caused his augmentations to malfunction. On December 5th, 2012, Jensen once again displayed the power of augmentation by winning the King of the Ring Tournament and earning the title shot for VGCW championshop against Bowser and Link. Even though Bowser had just defeated Ganondorf in one of the most shocking upsets in VGCW history, and Link was still heavily hyped as a future champion, Jensen stayed true to the promise he made on his debut and pinned Bowser to become the champion. Jensen's reign seemed poised to end quickly, as Corporate Mac attempted to cash in his Money in the Bank contract on the tired Jensen. However, he was saved as Zangief ambushed Mac during his entrance and and gave Mr. McMahon's laptop a harsh beatdown, preventing him from making Jensen the shortest lived champion in history. His reign nevertheless ended quickly due to The Gerudo Curse. On his first title defense, Jensen suffered a swift defeat to bloodthirsty, really pissed-off Kratos. The crowd was furious with Kratos's win, making him perhaps the most hated champion of all time. Jensen still had the last laught, as Little Mac cashed in the briefcase '''again, '''this time on the newly crowned Kratos. Not interrupted by Zangief, Little Mac easily beat fatigued Kratos and became the VGCW championship. Jensen's only response to this shocking development was "Yeah, RIP." Season 3: Augmented Comeback After the fall, Jensen spun his wheel for a little bit and began mounting a comeback, starting with an impressive win in a Six-Man Hell in a Cell on January 28th, 2013, pinning the Angry Video Game Nerd. It didn't end there, as Jensen had the support of the people by being voted in a poll for a spot in the Great Tournament for a chance to become the new General Manager of VGCW. On February 18th, Jensen went against M. Bison on the first round, who had been on hot streak. As the match was held on Monday evening, Bison managed to drag the match to hit midnight and hit '''Tuesday. Although Bison's power was increased greatly on Tuesday and became undefeatable, he forgot to account for time zones. As Adam's augs were set to Detroit time, he overcame impossible odds and landed the Augmented Tombstone. On March 12th, Adam Jensen then set his sights on Mike Haggar in the second round. Haggar had been a formidable opponent and had received a plurality of the votes in the GM poll, which meant Adam had to be careful, as defeating the Mayor of Earth could potentially backfire. Jensen, however, didn't blink and did just that, defeating Haggar in bold fashion with his Augmented Tombstone. Though there were some grumblings following his victory, they were nothing compared to what was to come in semifinals: the Dark Lord himself, Ganondorf. The very man who beat him in debut match, and had squashed top wrestlers like AVGN to get there. Getting past the Dark Lord seemed to be an insourmountable task, but Jensen would not be denied. On March 26th, Adam made a comeback - perhaps inspired by Icarus playing in the background - by spearing Ganon through the barricade, which heavily injured the Dark Lord and made him unable to answer the 10-count. With this victory, Jensen accomplished what seemed impossible: stopping the Dark Lord, and saving VGCW from another 1000 Years of Darkness. At the main event of the Season 3 finale, he fought against his next and powerful opponent: Gaben Due to Gabe's previous involvement in a Fatal 4-Way, Jensen managed to hit him hard and often. It seemed that VGCW was slated to get a new augmented General Manager, until Dan Hibiki ran to the ring and laid out both wrestlers to an incensed crowd. He then announced his new stable's leader Dracula would become the General Manager and take control of VGCW. Dracula asked who would stop them before ending the show, leaving many to suspect that the weight may fall on both Jensen and Gabe's shoulders. Season 4: The Gaben Link "Don't worry about me. Dracula's time willcome." '' On the first episode of Wrestlevania, Jensen and Gabe confronted the newly crowned General Manager Dracula. In his first speaking segment, Jensen would go on to tear Dracula a new asshole verbally, while Gaben mostly just stood quietly in agreement. In response to this, Dracula spat a few acerbic barbs back at Jensen and arranged for the two to team up against The Elite Two later that night. The two faced massive beatdown early on the match due to Raphael and Ezio's superior teamwork. However, as the match progressed, Jensen and Gabe began working more and more effectively as a team, leading to Gabe hot tagging in Jensen, and eventually Gabe locking the Wallet Squeeze on Ezio while Jensen distracted Raphale. That same night, Jensen refused Geno's request to join his team to stop Dracula, stating his intent to take down "Pale Face" by himself. Jensen would also appear in the Money in the Bank ladder match on April 23rd, and to the shock of the crowd, used the seldom-seen tactic of going straight to the money. Haggar would deny Jensen his shot at immortality at the last second, probably for retribution for eliminating him from The Great Tournament. The two spent the rest of the match brawling, and Charles Barkley eventually grabbed the briefcase. After death of Vegeta, Jensen participated in the King of the Ring Tournament for Hardcore Championship. He faced another strong competitor Scorpion in the one of the best matches of the night, and won by catching him midair and landing the Augmented Tombstone. However, he quickly tapped out to Segata Sanshiro in the next round due to the match settings. He later participated in #1 contender's match for the VGCW Championship with 5 other men, but was unsuccessful. Jensen also appeared backstage with Mike Haggar on May 8th. During this small banter with Haggar, Jensen affirmed that he and Gabe Newell weren't an actual team and they only teamed up once by orders of Dracula. Unfortunately for him, his "partner" firmly believed that the two of them were an actual team. Jensen insisted that Safety Valve didn't exist, but Dracula finally made the two an official team. Safety Valve was put against dominant Gerudo Skies and were demolished. Despite putting up a decent fight, this loss was primarily due to Jensen's lack of teamwork - who 'accidentally' decked his partner, and refused to assist Gabe as the dominant duo put Gabe through the wringer. Eventually Ganondorf landed two Gerudo Valley Drivers and put Jensen out of commission for the night. The augmented agent stayed out of the spotlight until End Game 4 drew to a close and Vamphound finally vanquished the vampiric Dracula, clearing the GM's seat for the interrupted match that never found a formal conclusion: Gaben Vs. Jensen. Crowd hyped beyond measure, the two traded devastating blows even as audience members asked why the two couldn't be friends. Suffering the indignity of being forced to tap out to the CEO's patented Wallet Squeeze (luckily, outside the ring), Jensen managed to land a powerful Augmented Tombstone before being thrown into a corner, repeatedly headbutted, and speared through to lose by countout. The GM dream... was over. Apparently Gaben didn't hold a grudge for any damage incurred in the ferocious battle, though. The pair were seen in Gabe's new office after the show, with Jensen urging his new boss to search for the dragon balls. Of course, Gabe agreed with his best buddy Jensen, with the two now joining others like The Practice to search for the fabled balls - purely for safekeeping purposes, that is. Jensen is a security specialist, after all... Season 5: The Dragonball Effect ''"This is VGCW. If you want something, you fight for it." In the season 5 premiere, Jensen was busy working with the new General Manager backstage. Using his stealth skills, he set out to obtain a Dragon Radar and snatched one from Nappa during his backstage brawl with The Practice. After the beatdown, Nappa arrived in Gaben's office demanding action on behalf of the GM. The Saiyan stormed off, but not before referring to Adam as "Android Zero", a highly-insensitive thing to call an Augmented Human. Jensen took on Flint in the next episode. The fight would start somewhat even, but Adam soon took control and landed an augmented chokeslam on the bald cowboy. Flint made one last attempt to fight back, and was promptly hit with the Augmented Tombstone for the 3 count. Adam was later forced to take over the backstage interviewer role by Gaben. After a quick interview with Barret Wallace, Jensen told himself that he would find the dragon balls soon. His opportunity would come on July 31st, as Jensen would later find out that it was Barret Wallace himself who held a dragonball. Jensen then opted to challenge Barret to a match directly later that night, though they would also be joined by Waluigi. Jensen was ultimately unable to secure the victory, as Waluigi ended up pinning Barret to win the match. After hiatus, Jensen faced Donkey Kong, who had been gaining large momentum and unsurprisingly pinned by him. Later that night, Jensen entered late in the Royal Rumble. In it, he eliminated the returning Sabin to obtain #1 Contendership to the VGCW Championship. His shot took place on September 7th against Little Mac, but the challenger found himself overwhelmed by Mac's flurry of fists. Adam managed to take control of the bout in the second half, but Mac was getting in a strike here and a punch there to wear him down. It wasn't long before Mac caught Adam's kick and countered into his Star Punch, sending Jensen's body and hopes of becoming champion once again crashing down. After losing two consecutive matches, Adam decided to just collect Dragon Balls, which involved one from Bowser, three from Wario Ware Inc., then losing all of those to Nappa & Flint. He was among the others at the End Game 5, giving Tombstone Piledriver to Kefka. Royal Fumble: The Most Electrifying Moment in Sports Entertainment On October 15th, a special Royal Rumble was held. However, wrestlers stopped entering ther ring after number 8. Adam went on to eliminate all of the other competitors, and he was soon left as the only man in the ring. In this bizzare moment, Adam began to punch the ring ropes for several minutes until Bazza was forced to shut the match down. This infamous moment is now considered to be one of last, and greatest, moments of THQuality that VGCW has ever seen. Season 6: The Fall On the season premiere, Adam is seen running business with Gabe. As Gabe's assistant, he used the basement key to release Dracula for match against Bowser. He would continue to run work backstage until his match against Captain Falcon on December 3rd. During his entrance, Jensen debuted his new Augmented ATV, revealing that he had actally upgraded his trademark bike instead of discarding it. It did little to help Jensen however, as he was, to many peoples surprise, handily defeated by Captain Falcon. He would later meet Phoenix Wright in a match on December 17th, and the two went on to put together a brilliant match, but a last second turnabout by Wright proved to be too much for Jensen, and he was defeated yet again, by another midcarder. On January 14th, Jensen met Phoenix backstage, and was alerted when his former opponent called him "Mr. GM". Whether this was a Phoenix from an entirely different timeline making a fatal mistake or just our Phoenix taunting Jensen remained to be seen, as Adam told the lawyer that he had his augmented eye on him. Later that same night, Jensen returned to the ring in a Triple Threat Match. He was determined to finally shake off his dreadful recent performances and used intelligence, strategy and stealth throughout the course of the battle. Recognizing the biggest threat, he teamed up with Ezio to take down the powerhouse Zangief. After falling back to the sidelines and letting the two duke it out, Adam stealthily snuck back in and hit Ezio with an Augmented Tombstone. With both his opponents now badly injured, the still fresh Jensen delved back into the fray and eliminated the tired Zangief, and delivered a second Tombstone to Ezio, this time on a sledgehammer. The devestating move was more than enough, and Adam picked up a huge win, finally ending his fall and putting himself back on track. Time will tell if it continues. Season 7: Augmented Security 2014-01-28 was a busy night for the Augmented man. After going over some roster additions and replacements with GM Gabe, mainly concerning the EDBW roster, he took his rounds backstage. He would later run into a lonely Duke Nukem, which had an unfilled match slotted next. Jensen was then entered into a tag team match against The Practice. Teaming up with Gabe to replace Team America, who was one short a member, the tag team took to the ring for the first time since November. The pair worked together as required, until Gabe was able to lock in the Wallet Squeeze on Dr. Wily. On 2014-02-25 , Jensen would enter a triple threat with Grey Fox and Mike Haggar. Though in the ring with a fellow man of augmentations, he wouldn't hold back. In the end, it was the man who overcame machine, as Jensen walked away with a loss at the hands of the Mayor after being pinned. Late on March 25th, Jensen formed a new stable of prats called P.R.A.T.S. to help combat The Ring Rangers, with Dan Hibiki as it's first member. Time will tell how effective they will be in combating this threat... Miscellaneous Facts Self-proclaimed professional VGCW analysts have theorised that his power came from his augmented bike. Evidence shows that his performance in the ring mirrored the presence of the bike, winning almost every match where he's allowed to bring the bike. There are exceptions though, including one match against Ganondorf, and a Battle Royal against Solid Snake. Most revealing of all, he once got one-shotted by Gary Oak in Royal Rumblebefore his theme even stopped playing. VGCW has not confirmed or denied the mystery behind Jensen's bike, and brushed it off as a ridiculous theory crafted by internet sensationalists. One explanation may be Jensen's affinity for CyberBoost ProEnergy bars, a product he appears to be hopelessly reliant on to power his ability to punch holes through unstable walls and stab working girls with elbow-mounted blades. The VGCW staff have not been able to confirm whether the bike carries or dispenses any CyberBoost products, as the vehicle transports itself to an unspecified location whenever Jensen enters the ring. During the transition to WWE 2K14, it was found out that in the CAW creator, Adams signature entrance could no longer be replicated, marking the end of Augmented Bike. Jensen later revealed that he had upgraded his bike, adding two more wheels to make it an Augmented-Terrain-Vehicle. External Links Adam Jensen does the Safety Dance Non-Royal Rumble Record Gallery Safety dance1.gif|Adam doing the safety dance Adam Debut.png|Adam's debut after Ganon defended his title. Jensentitle.jpg|Adam wins the big one Muh pride.jpg|The Barricade Spear that changed the very future of VGCW. Jensen vs Gaben.png BAH GAWD KING TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER BAH GAWD.gif|Vintage Jensen Gary Oak eliminates Adam Jensen.gif|Jensen being eliminated by Gary in the Rumble